Hallway Fiasco

So here’s a little story that captures the bizarreness of life here sometimes. The other night we are lying in bed (OK, it was 9:00pm, and we were already in bed reading about to go to sleep because we go to bed really early here – this place is exhausting!) and we hear this terrible banging in the hallway. Incidentally, Sam happened to be reading a kind of intense memoir from the war here and it was all about the night the Pakistan army invaded a building and pulled men into the hallway and slaughtered them. For about 2 seconds she was truly terrified before she snapped out of the story and realized where she was!

Anyhow, the banging continued, and we figured we better see what was up. Jon opened our door and asked if everything was ok. Our neighbor, who is another foreign researcher here, lives in the flat next to ours with her 15 year old son. Apparently, he had gotten home first and had locked the dead bolt from the inside so she couldn’t get in. He had then apparently gone to bed and sleeps very soundly. She was banging on the door with all her might, and yelling his name, but he never came to the door. He had also apparently turned his phone off or it was not ringing, because she couldn’t call him either. We tried the intercom system to her apartment and she even came in and used our computer to see if he was on Facebook, but no luck.

This kid was one sound sleeper. So after about 30-40 minutes of banging, the entire building was out in out in the hallway. Even though the teenager somehow hadn’t woken up and heard the racket, the entire building was up. Everyone was out in the hallway, and it was quite a communal experience. We felt so bad for our neighbor- and while we were all getting a little worried, she seemed convinced that he was fine, just really hard to wake up.

So as we watched it all unfold, we also got to see all the crazy characters of our building interacting. There was our building owner, who is an old, retired military man and totally a take charge kind of guy. Then there is his son, the building manager, who is a frazzled, hectic mess, and he arrived about an hour into the whole thing- late as usual. There was also a small cadre of building women, who were along the sidelines talking one another. Actually, Sam became a part of the sideline gaggle of women because she was in her pajamas and not really presentable for mixed company, plus she couldn’t go out of the apartment because Atticus was asleep in his room. She experienced most of it all by leaning her head out the mostly closed door. There was also the door guard (who we don’t like, and is a cranky old man with a bad attitude), the pilot (who is a pilot for Biman airlines who lives below us) and a bunch of random people we don’t even know – because it is after all, Bangladesh, and a crowd forms immediately, even within a building! Everyone was all lined along the stairs and on the landing between our two flats.

So, the kid was not waking up, and everyone’s creative problem solving started kicking in. ‘We need to tie a rope around someone and lower them from the roof onto her balcony’ said someone (possibly Jon, but we’ll let that remain unknown). ‘No, that is too dangerous’ someone else said (probably Sam, but we’ll let that remain unknown). It is the fifth floor we are talking about… ‘Bust the door down’ someone said. ‘No, it would be too hard’ someone else said. Then several men, such as the landlord’s son, the pilot, and the cranky door-guard felt the need to prove their masculinity so they started banging at the door to bust the bolt. ‘No, no, no,’ our neighbor cried out, ‘please don’t bust the door down.’ (She didn’t want to buy a new door!)
The next thing you know, the men (and yes, Jon was right along with everyone) have all moved to the roof, and Sam is left with the ladies. Sam and the ladies take turns leaning out Atticus’ window (who has, in fairness, also slept through this entire thing!) to observe the menfolk on the roof swinging a hose over the ledge to tap on the kid’s window and try to get his attention. ‘Tink, tink tink’ went the hose as it gently swung back and forth - not exactly working.
The men give up and head back downstairs. The banging on the door re-commenced and after about an hour and a half or two hours from the beginning of the whole event our neighbor just came over to our place and we continued to try and call her apartment.

We had more or less given up that the kid was going to open the door, and planned on our neighbor sleeping over. We were just chatting a little when suddenly our door bursts open and it is our frantic building manager (the landlord’s son) saying ‘Come quickly, can you tell your son to open up. He won’t open the window for us.’

It turns out that the pilot and some other other guy from the building (we think…) had gotten a hold of a ladder, and had stuck it out the window of the apartment below hers. They had then pushed the bed up against the wall below the window to stabilize the ladder as it poked out the window and the guy had climbed up the ladder and knocked on the kid’s window – which had woken him up and had to have scared the crap out of him. He refused to open, naturally.
Finally, after our neighbor began banging again and saying his name, he opened the door. Our neighbor (and Jon for some reason) got a lecture from the landlord (something about not calling the cops and parental responsibility and how our neighbor owed us more than thanks [which we disagree with- our neighbor does not, in fact, owe more than a thank you, which she already paid]) and the kid inside (he is 15) probably got in serious trouble.

In closing, here are 10 lessons from the night:
1. Don’t lock the deadbolt and go to bed if everyone isn’t home yet.
2. Teenagers sleep really soundly (and so does Atticus)
3. Teenagers are a pain in the neck
4. We have some crazy characters in the building- and we fit right in.
5. We live in really secure apartments, which is good to know.
6. If you hear hubbub in the hallway, go ahead and get dressed, because it will probably become a vey public event
7. Old, rich, retired military guys like to lecture anyone within earshot
8. A slight tap from a hose on the window is not sufficient to wake a teenager, when banging on the door at full strength has already failed.
9. 9:00pm is probably too early for adults to be in bed for the night
10. If you ever question a man’s ability to break down a door, he has to try.