So, another thing we did this last week was attend our landlord’s birthday party, which was coupled with his wife’s baby shower, or Godh Bharai, as it is called in India (and we guess here…). The Godh Bharai is held after the seventh month of a pregnancy, when it is assumed that the baby is viable and the mother is in need of some special TLC. The tradition is to set up a feast of deliciousness, and then everyone takes turns feeding the mom a bite of the treats. This was a totally new thing for us and it was a fun and unexpected time.
The party was held on our roof which was decked out with pretty fabric tent/wall-like things enclosing the party area. In case we haven’t explained, we generally deal with the building owner’s son, who for privacy’s sake we’ll just call T, and we think of him as our bariwallah, but technically his dad owns the building and he lives here too – let’s call him the Major, (they all live together a couple of floors down) so we kind of think of him as our bariwallah too. The building owner is a retired military man, and his wife is really nice- she is the one who helps Sam put her sari on when needed! Anyhow, while sometimes we have to butt heads with the son over money things since he does the business end of it all (perpetually negotiating charges and fees is just part of things here) we generally seem to have a good rapport with the family. They think we are a bit odd, and are particularly taken aback by the fact that our closest friend (and frequent guest in the apartment) is a rickshaw-wallah, but we all get along well enough and chit-chat in the hallway when we see each other. So, T invited us up to the party and we went.
It was a nice view into the life of wealthy Bangladeshis, and a fun cultural experience to share with Atticus in particular. Since it involved mishti (the generic name for a variety of sweet treats) Atticus was totally into it and the tradition at its heart is fundamentally good- who doesn’t think a 7 month pregnant woman deserves a little pampering? On the practical side though, anyone who has ever been 7 months pregnant can appreciate that this isn’t really the time in one’s life that one wants a bunch of pictures being taken while one is literally being fed. For the traditional program, everyone took turns feeding a bite of the treats to the mom-to-be and she, in turn, fed a bite back to each person. It was nice for Atticus to see the tradition of appreciating women though, because sometimes things can be a bit overwhelmingly patriarchal here, and even he has picked up on it (Once he said “Women have to do all the work in Bangladesh!” and while we know it isn’t necessarily true, it was nice to see him recognize gender power differences.). Then the treats served as a buffet for everyone- particularly Atticus who made no less than 4 trips up to fill his plate with sweets.
After the program for T’s wife, we also sang happy birthday for T and did the whole birthday thing in the usual western tradition. The family is actually quite interesting because T is western to the core – he was educated in London, lived overseas for a while, etc.. but there is still a true ‘deshi-ness present as well. It was certainly a fusion night!
So we had a nice time at the party, ducked out a bit early (which by Dhaka standards means 10:30pm – just before dinner!) and took some photos which we’ve put below.
The party was held on our roof which was decked out with pretty fabric tent/wall-like things enclosing the party area. In case we haven’t explained, we generally deal with the building owner’s son, who for privacy’s sake we’ll just call T, and we think of him as our bariwallah, but technically his dad owns the building and he lives here too – let’s call him the Major, (they all live together a couple of floors down) so we kind of think of him as our bariwallah too. The building owner is a retired military man, and his wife is really nice- she is the one who helps Sam put her sari on when needed! Anyhow, while sometimes we have to butt heads with the son over money things since he does the business end of it all (perpetually negotiating charges and fees is just part of things here) we generally seem to have a good rapport with the family. They think we are a bit odd, and are particularly taken aback by the fact that our closest friend (and frequent guest in the apartment) is a rickshaw-wallah, but we all get along well enough and chit-chat in the hallway when we see each other. So, T invited us up to the party and we went.
It was a nice view into the life of wealthy Bangladeshis, and a fun cultural experience to share with Atticus in particular. Since it involved mishti (the generic name for a variety of sweet treats) Atticus was totally into it and the tradition at its heart is fundamentally good- who doesn’t think a 7 month pregnant woman deserves a little pampering? On the practical side though, anyone who has ever been 7 months pregnant can appreciate that this isn’t really the time in one’s life that one wants a bunch of pictures being taken while one is literally being fed. For the traditional program, everyone took turns feeding a bite of the treats to the mom-to-be and she, in turn, fed a bite back to each person. It was nice for Atticus to see the tradition of appreciating women though, because sometimes things can be a bit overwhelmingly patriarchal here, and even he has picked up on it (Once he said “Women have to do all the work in Bangladesh!” and while we know it isn’t necessarily true, it was nice to see him recognize gender power differences.). Then the treats served as a buffet for everyone- particularly Atticus who made no less than 4 trips up to fill his plate with sweets.
After the program for T’s wife, we also sang happy birthday for T and did the whole birthday thing in the usual western tradition. The family is actually quite interesting because T is western to the core – he was educated in London, lived overseas for a while, etc.. but there is still a true ‘deshi-ness present as well. It was certainly a fusion night!
So we had a nice time at the party, ducked out a bit early (which by Dhaka standards means 10:30pm – just before dinner!) and took some photos which we’ve put below.
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